It was my first ever Uber cab ride
- courtesy my banker. He was insistent that I attend an event organized by
the bank; and I was adamant on not driving all the way to the Taj Mahal hotel
from North Mumbai, and so, the ride. I was surprised that Uber was operating
after what I believed was a total shut down of services across India post the
cab-rape incident in Delhi.
“Namaste Sir; my name is PP and
welcome to my Uber Cab. Which road would you want me to use to take you to the
destination – the fastest of course is the Western Express Highway” is how my
driver greeted me. He looked about 30 something; his accent told me that he was
from North India and his smile told me that I am in for a ride where there
would be an almost one sided nonstop conversation for the next hour and a half
(that I had estimated to reach the hotel). I told him to take Linking Rd. as
the traffic would be minimal given the afternoon hour at which we were
traveling. No argument or dirty look. Just an “as you wish Sir”. I think he logged
in the path on the phone app. and we were on our way.
I think he was waiting for his cue
to open his mouth, and I just played into his hands by asking him how Uber was
back in service so fast after being shut down by the authorities? PP said that the Company had given
an assurance of complying with the dictates of the authorities within a
specified period and all the drivers who already held a taxi-driver badge, licenses
and permits as required by the authorities had been asked to resume accepting orders. The badges
are issued by a central agency and not the State authority I learnt; to keep a
better check on the antecedents of the drivers – whichever State they hail
from. My retort was that in that case, following the verification directive
stipulated would be a great way to keep out rogues and would be villains from
offering taxi service and avoid Delhi type incidents. PP looked back flashing a
sarcastic smile and said “Do you really believe that Sir? It is usually the
good guy who does not get the badge. The ones with a record are almost always well
connected to a political persona at whatever level and barking orders are
issued for their badge. The Delhi incident was not the first ever in a cab, but
a first in an Uber cab. How come such directives were never issued before? You
can understand Sir what I am trying to say. Uber has no political patronage and
as of now most drivers working for other cab companies are shifting in hordes
to Uber, which is hurting other cab companies a lot. Now I hope you understand
what I am saying Sir” and he looked back again to see the expression on my
face.
He continued “You know; if Uber
had asked every cab it engages to put its logo on the cab, then, every one of
them would have been stoned or burnt. Thank God! None of the cabs are
identifiable. Sir, what can I say; ever since Uber has come it has been a boon
to the taxi driver. We make lots of money even though our ride costs 30% less
than the “Kali-peeli” and radio cabs. The drivers who sign up for Uber are
given lessons in etiquettes to customers. We are told not to expect nor ask for
tips. No money has to exchange between the driver and guest. Sir, if you don’t
like my service or you think I am taking you the wrong way to your destination
– you can complain about me and I will not get paid and you will not get charged. Uber can verify whatever
you are saying because I have to log in the path I will take to reach you to
your destination; and on service, it is your word against mine. On the other
hand we drivers also can rate customers. If someone is abusive or misbehaves we
can put a black mark against that customer. 5 such marks and Uber will
blacklist the customer. If I carry a “drunken” guest and that guest pukes in my
car – I have to just send the picture to my controller and I am authorized then
to get the car washed and cleaned at a service station. The charges are
collected from the guest. But under no means am I allowed to de-board my guest,
until I reach the guest to the destination. Can you believe Sir, 2000 + cabs in
Mumbai are controlled by just 5 Uber employees? Sir, people have liked our
service so much that quite a few don’t use their own cars. I have a few
regulars and when I ask them why they use Uber, I am told that the price they
pay per month is at times less than the fuel and salary of the driver they
incur.” That was an interesting lesson in hospitality and the emerging sharing
economy. Strangely: I heard the exact same thing about Uber just a few
days back from the CEO of a near billion dollar valuation company in the ticket
booking space. Had he taken a ride with PP as well? Actually he had
been educated by an Uber driver in Delhi. Are guys like PP Uber drivers or Uber Ambassadors?
By this time, I was curious to
learn more about his experience with the other cabs he had operated. “Sir, I
started off with the black and yellow (BY) cabs and switched to operating a
radio cab no sooner they came in the market. I thought life would be better
driving a nicer air conditioned car rather than the ancient rickety BY cabs.
But I soon discovered that I was actually jumping from the frying pan straight
into fire. I was nothing more than a contracted slave. To make the same amount
of money as I would earlier, I had to work twice as many hours. Then, there
were situations where I could not take a fare because the time given to me to
reach the pickup point was just impractical. No Sir, I could not refuse a fare
punched by the company; and if I did there was a fine of Rs. 50. So the
procedure was to call the Company call centre and explain why the fare was
being refused. The time it took to complete that process would add up to more
than just paying the penalty. I can keep telling you the problems I faced Sir,
but never mind. I could leave the BY cab owner anytime I wanted but in this
case I had signed a bond. Since I like to learn (I am sure talk is what he
meant), I use to ask my foreign guests how cab services worked overseas. I learnt
about Uber from them, and when I heard that it was starting in Mumbai, I
applied as well. Sir, I have now booked my own car and I am pretty sure the way
things are improving in India; I will own 15 cars by 2018”. Now that was a
pretty specific and well laid out business plan. “Good luck PP; so you will
then engage 15 drivers under you? Then, I guess your life will be set?” Yikes!
Why did I ask that?
“Set? No Sir, it’s just the
beginning. You see Sir, I always wanted to be a leader and ride in a car with a
beacon and have gun carrying bodyguards following me around. My plan is not to engage just any 15
drivers. I will go back to my village and engage the Kids of all the
village influencers. What do they earn in the village? Hardly anything. If I
pay them each Rs. 25,000 a month they will be called millionaires back home. All
the best girls will want to marry them. Their life will be set. For girls in
the village – Mumbai and Delhi is like staying in America. Trust me Sir, even
after paying them that much, and paying car EMI, I will still make a profit. To
fight an election in my area with the influential people backing me will not
cost much. My profit of 1 year will be some Rs 50 lakhs – more than enough Sir.
I will fight as an independent and I will win. I will do anything to make my
dream come true Sir. If I want, I can ask my family to fund my dreams; I come from a landed family where my father is a high caste leader. But, if I do ask him; he will play me the way he wants and I don't want my views to be influenced by anyone.” Wow! Now that was a hard core power plan I had just
heard. I could not resist but compliment his confidence. Oops!
“Confidence; yes Sir, I am very
confident about myself. I have trained myself to be physically and mentally strong.
When I was back in Lucknow; I spent two years with the “Naga-Babas” (a highly
evolved ascetic who has renounced everything including clothes) and they taught
me that if you have control on mind and body you can achieve anything. I have
fasted for ten-ten days at a time - several times. I can beat up a guy twice my size. You don’t
believe me, do you? But, Sir, why will I lie to you. I really can”. I just
nodded not wanting to open up another conversation. “You know why I want to
join politics Sir?” and without waiting for my response “when I first came to
Mumbai, I got employed as a driver with a person who was friends with a
minister’s son. They had studied together. My employer was barely 23 or 24 but
in those days he got a loan of Rs 500 crores to start of a company. Sir; he was
a nobody – lived in a rented house and had a second hand beaten up car. All he
did was pimp around for the minister’s friends and today he has one of the
largest real estate companies in India. Sir, nothing is hidden from the driver.
I knew then itself that to achieve something big in this world a person needs
power – money follows power. Look at Mr. Kejriwal. Sir, he is my hero. He stood
up for good of the common man like me; and while he lost the elections, we
cannot forget how he took on the battle with very big and very powerful
entities. See, I even have the “Aam Aadmi Party” cap. He made too many enemies
and everyone plotted to bring him down. If he fights for election again – I
will support him any and every way I can”.
“So you are not very happy that
Mr. Modi became PM?” I asked. “He is a good man Sir. A lot like Kejriwalji. And
of course he is a seasoned politician. Kejriwalji should not have taken a
“panga” with him. That was his biggest mistake. Mr. Modi will do a lot of good
for India. I just know it. This Country will progress. But, I don't like anyone else in his Party. You know why he won Sir? His name. Yes Sir, his name is so easy on the tongue to chant and all his slogans and jingles were designed to give strength to his name. They were so good and catchy that they got embedded in the brain and that is how there was a Modi wave in this Country. Sir have you observed that when he speaks to people in India he wears saffron clothes and delivers his speech like a preacher. He has given up his family, he has no children, so there is no visible ulterior motive in his actions. That's why people believe him and trust him. But after 5 years he must go. Unless the ruling
party changes every 5 years corruption will never go from our Country. Look at
the Congress. It was a good party once upon a time. But because it controlled
the centre for so many years – it started taking us people for granted. No
party should take people for granted. Leaders who cannot respect the people
they lead are not leaders. I will be a good leader Sir. I will work for the
people and improve their life. I will make sure people don’t have to run to
cities to get a better life. What they think is a better life is actually hell.
Look at this City Sir, there is no oxygen. There are no trees so how can there
be oxygen. Back home we have gardens and greenery. Food is pure and much
cheaper than here. We have time to meet friends and family. Nothing but anger
and stress here Sir. No wonder there are so many crimes. But, things are
changing back home as well. People are selling land meant for producing food to
make factories and new homes. We will all die because of what we are doing. We
cannot eat money. I have seen my friends build palatial homes and buy cars and
everything from money they got selling their ancestral land. Then in a couple
of years they are broke. All the money spent. Today their palatial home is on
sale, but it is not enough to buy the land they sold back.” Simplistic but true
view of political and people psyche I thought.
“Sir, you must think I am a Mr.
Know-it-all? Sir, I am a good judge of people. I meet so many new people every
day. Good, bad, happy sad, pious, crooks, all sorts Sir. I can tell by the
face, walk, talk, sitting pose what kind of person is sitting in my cab”. I
dared not to ask what he thought of me. “I make friends with my talk and leave
such an impression that no one can forget me. I like studying people. That is
how I will be able to influence people. Just like Modiji. They simply will not be able to say
“No” to me. You know Sir, I can charm any woman I like. But, I don’t. I think
the minute a woman comes into my life, my whole plan of becoming who I want
will go for a toss. That’s why I have a girlfriend. She was a hooker once, but I
reformed her. I have set up a Chinese food stall for her back in Kolkatta. Now
she and her family earn a decent living. She came here to join films and ended
up in the flesh trade to support her stay here and a chance to get a part in a
movie. She comes from a good family. Her parents don’t know what she did here; and I threaten her that if she strays again I will tell them what she did here. Now her younger brother is old enough to look after the stall so I am thinking
of calling her to Mumbai to drive the car which I am buying. Women driver will
be in demand now – especially after the Delhi incident. But, I have told her no
marriage and if she wants kids, I will not give them my name. I will make her
sign a contract to that effect else she will haul me in for rape someday. I
just cannot trust an angry woman. For her, I am her husband. But Sir; though I don't believe in caste etc, I want my children to be from pure stock. I want to educate them at the best school and colleges in India and America. I want to give them all that I did not have. I don't want them living here when they grow up - I want them to stay in America. There if you are educated and willing to work hard, you can become a billionaire without cheating. Anyway Sir, we are a minute away from your destination.”
We ended the journey.
Just 10 minutes behind schedule. As I was leaving the cab he said “Sir, one day in this very cab I will find my
financier who will help me achieve my dreams”. Did he read my mind that I was
attending a conference on “Social Impact Investing”? “Thank you PP. It has been
a very interesting an educational trip riding with you. Hope someday soon I
will be riding in your cab again” I said. “Most certainly Sir. I will give you
a good point and you give me one too – if you think I deserve it. I value my
Uber rating very much. And Sir, you will certainly read of me as an independent
elected MP in UP in the 2019 elections. Please don’t forget me” he said; with an
ear to ear brimming smile. I left him with an amused smile knowing that I had
just fast tracked an Uber MBA from a real life “White Tiger”*who will achieve
whatever he told me – at any cost.
‘* The White Tiger - by Arvinda Adiga
1 Lakh = 100,000
1 crore = 10,000,000
