Shitty Shitty Big Brand

A couple of days back; there was a series of tweet from a prominent personality in Delhi on the trouble he was having with his super expensive Bavarian car, and the problems being faced by him with the dealership in resolving the same. All of a sudden there was a barrage of tweets in response to them by several handles echoing similar problems with their own branded dream machines that had turned into white elephants within a couple of years of ownership.

I was having dinner with a couple of friends a day after and threw this topic on the table for debate. Both my friends too had similar horror stories to tell and from them I learnt that it was not only my BMW that suffered from the symptoms of melting door handles and multiple electrical faults. It seems each time the car goes to the authorized service centre for getting an issue resolved it comes back with a couple of new ones. It got me thinking on why are these problems not brought out into the open? Afterall we buy these super expensive branded cars not only for the badge value but to get trouble free performance and great service in case - God Forbid -  there are any problems.

In most cases, the popular big 5 brands from Europe will sell the car with a 3 year service - "super" insurance - extended warranty pack with fancy names that costs nearly 5% to 10% of the vehicle's on road price depending on what one opts for. Most buyers acquiring such expensive vehicles do not really bother to even check what these packs really mean and buy them with the hope of sleeping soundly with the thought that their expensive acquisition will be well taken care of. Why? probably not worth their expensive time to get into all this investigation. As a result, they also discover that they have been "had" when their car gets into a sticky situation.

For those brave enough to go through the schemes and give them a pass to avoid paying what is really unnecessary extra costs; the car companies and dealerships have other surprises in store for them. A maintenance schedule that beats all logic. I was told that I must get the engine oil and filter of my SUV (from a famous English brand) be changed every 6 months irrespective of the milage it does - else the manufacturing warranty would be held void. I was certainly upset at the thought of paying for 2 expensives services a year. Forget the labour cost; the material cost quoted itself was at a 200% premium to what is available in the market. I did some research and pulled up the  manufacturer's recommended service intervals for the vehicle in different world zones and discovered that such short intervals were only reserved for India. Now why was I not told this at the time of buying the car that while it may meet Euro IV norms; the  fuel in India and other climatic conditions are corrosive enough to cause the oil to disintegrate as per clockwork even if the vehicle is not clocking serious mileage. When I took this up with the Company; I was told that based on my use pattern they would waive off the time horizon requirement for service as long as I serviced the car at least once a year for the first 3 years. Cost down to half but not my aggravation. Had I not taken this up, I would have paid up twice the servicing cost over the life of the vehicle.

I was told run flat tyres cannot be fully fixed if they suffer a flat. Cost of a temporary repair - Rs 5000 from the dealer or; as I learnt,  Rs 150 from a certified tyre vendor that sells the same brand tyres. Cost of a single tyre replacement at a dealer equals the cost for replacing a whole set of close to but good quality - branded - matching tyres from outside. I checked with the tyre dealer on why this difference. He said that the car company has forbidden the tyre company from selling exact match tyres in the open market if it wants to be an OEM supplier. So it's the car owner's choice to replace either one tyre from the dealership or buy an entirely new set of tyres from the tyre vendor. Smells of a burning rubber scam does it not?

I have taken up numerous battles with several car companies  from popular to expensive brands and I have only one conclusion to draw. There is no difference. The after sales service is pathetic across the board based on my own experience and from what I have heard from numerous car owners. Non availability of spares; no commitment on availability of spares for at least X many number of years after acquisition of a brand new vehicle from a certified dealership; disputes in resolving problems under warranty; and many such big and small issues are common with all types of cars.  Sorry there is a difference - the bigger the brand - bigger the grief in terms of cost and time. And to top it all - they (the brand car cos) don't really seem to care much either knowing that what they are really selling is an ego trip for which millions of rich and aspiring Indians are hungry for.

The sorry state of Indian roads and bad drivers are pretty much the lowest common denominators for all cars using what we call infrastructure as is the quality of fuel in driving vehicles to an earlier than required grave. The only way to protect a car from nicks and dents in this Country is to not drive it and sometimes even that does not work. Next one pays nearly twice the price for these fancy cars as one would pay in most parts of the world. Add to that there there is no real advantage in terms of build or after sales service quality derived from ownership of a marquee brand. Then my logic says depreciate your ego faster than the vehicle made by the "Shitty Shitty Big Brands" and say tata to them quite literally.

I am quite sure that the big car brands will actually be happy to note that I will not spend my hard earned money on buying one of their vehicles now on as I am probably nothing more than a tweeting twitter to them.